But sanity is found in knowing that people are also capable, and more so inevitably doomed to do stupid things. I had a weekend where a bunch of people around me did a lot of stupid things. But I'm not going to talk about that. I'm going to talk about the stupid thing that I did.
I dated someone because I thought I saw myself in him.
Yes, it's an unbelievable act of narcissism. But I thought I saw me in 2006 when I had first arrived, but it turns out we were very, very different. Why did I want someone who reminded me of myself? Have I been having that much trouble connecting to people who were different, that I felt like an island who would only be happy finding another island?
The second thing I did was do something that suddenly increased my seratonin intake... and thus disastrously depleting my supply of it. I'm sitting in my apartment and everything around me that I loved last week, is simply pitiful. Even my dog looks sad.
It feels familiar. I used to feel like this for years, and I think how the hell did I get through my childhood. How did I get up every morning? I can't imagine how I would proceed if this lasted for more than a week. So it's something to be thankful for I guess.
Be thankful that happiness has become something more of a choice... and that with every passing day is potential to feel a little better.
