I'm stuck in the same fucking place that I've been for the past couple of months. I'm an idiot for love, I swear to god. I keep settling for the crumbs that he gives me, hoping that one day it'll be more. And my heart feels so heavy, heaviest when I date other people... when I sleep with someone else. Is this love? Is it poison? ... or are they both one in the same.
I find myself in my hardest moments turning to my beliefs, and now I find that I'm left with none. What do I believe in anymore? Who do I believe in? A year ago, I might have told myself that if it is love, you shouldn't have to work so hard. But now I'm not so sure. I've resorted to looking at that approach as if you were waiting for something to fall on your lap.
And now I'm lost.
Maybe this is why people have religion. So they don't have to wander around for themselves and try to figure it out on their own. I wish I had a book to turn to at this time. Point me to some wisdom, that I am so desperately in need of today and likely tomorrow.
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